


Broken

by thehoneybeecastielfollows



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel/Dean Winchester Angst, Castiel/Dean Winchester Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Michael!Dean, castiel - Freeform, sad!castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 08:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16740340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoneybeecastielfollows/pseuds/thehoneybeecastielfollows
Summary: Season 11-13 spoilers! Angst, and fluff incorporated in this as well as unstated flashbacks and some super heartbreaking sad!Castiel. Enjoy!





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Season 11-13 spoilers! Angst, and fluff incorporated in this as well as unstated flashbacks and some super heartbreaking sad!Castiel. Enjoy!

Cas had been crying for weeks. Nobody knew and nobody was going to know. He was broken and it didn’t help that Dean had told him that nobody cared that he was broken. Usually, he was the one who was brave about everything. The one who was willing to stand up to save anyone and everyone. But, he couldn't find his faith. In himself or in others. He was lost.

One day they would know. They would know how broken he was without them, and how lost he was after he had let all the angels fall from heaven and to earth. Sure, that was long ago, but the pain still remained within him, because they all still had broken wings and dimly lit grace, because of him. He did too, and it hurt him, but he couldn't do anything to help. He would only mess it up once again.

His love for Dean needed to fade away, but it wouldn't cease. He tried to convince himself that it was just brotherly love, but he knew, deep inside, that it was different. He was in love with Dean. At first, it was all fine and dandy because it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, but then reality crashed into him like a twenty-foot wave. Dean didn’t love him like that. He was like a brother to Dean. Dean had told him himself.

‘You’re our brother, Cas. I want you to know that.’

But it didn’t faze him. Not until later. 

He had replied with a small 'Thank you’, not apprehending that Dean had just thrown him into the 'friend zone’. Then again, he didn’t have much time to think because of the phone call that had taken place shortly after between Sam and Dean. He had completely forgotten about that entire conversation.

He hadn’t realized how much he loved Dean until Dean had sacrificed himself to kill The Darkness. The moment he hugged Dean, knowing that Dean wouldn’t survive the bomb, reality smashed right through him once again. He barely even had time to think before he offered to go with Dean. But Dean declined, telling him that he needed to go alone. And Cas understood, allowing Dean to save the world, again.

As he sat in the closed bar, he had waited for something to happen, to let them know that The Darkness was dead. He had been worried and sad, let alone anxious. He had been waiting for some miracle that would let Dean live. But he had known that it would never happen. Dean was willing to die to save the world, and Cas needed to let it happen.

When the sun had been fixed and they all had made their way outside, Cas had known that Dean was dead, but he had to make sure he was 100% sure. Therefore, he had asked:

'And Dean?’

Nobody had answered, because they all already knew. Dean was dead. Cas had looked down, attempting to hide his tears and hold them in. The man he loved was dead. He had been trying so hard to wake up from his dream or snap out of his daze, but it hadn’t been a dream. It had been reality. And he couldn’t have done anything to change that.

He was still heartbroken as he and Sam had walked down the metal staircase of the bunker, only to find a woman standing in the library. She had banished Cas using the angel banishing symbol, and Cas was gone. He had been sent God knows where. 

He had eventually found his way back to the bunker, but Sam wasn’t there. Then, there he was. Dean Winchester. Alive and kicking. He had hugged the life out of Dean, but Mary Winchester was there too. She was alive and young. Cas was even more broken than before, but he didn’t care, because the man he loved was alive.

It took everyone a while to figure out how and why Mary was alive and why Dean was also still alive, but they eventually did. And Cas was happy, that is until Lucifer’s son had been conceived and born within eight months. But that child, Jack, had shown him the future, and he knew he had to be born. With all of his power.

Jack had ended up being mostly good. He had opened a rift to another world that Sam, Dean, and Cas had been trying to help, and Michael was attempting to come to their world, and he did, but they had tried everything to keep him from going to their world. But, they had failed. 

Then, Lucifer had decided to become even eviler than he already was, and he stole Jack’s grace. Dean had said 'yes’ to Michael to help save Jack and Sam, and Cas had become even more heartbroken. He had tried to stop him. But he couldn’t. Dean was gone. Again.

Cas hadn’t even cared that Dean, or Michael, had killed Lucifer. He wanted Dean back. He had wanted the man he loved back. But, he couldn’t have him. Dean was gone. Once again.

He had been crying for weeks. Dean wasn’t there to comfort him, Sam was too upset about Dean to care about Cas, and Jack was graceless and heartbroken about everything. Cas had nothing to live for anymore. Everything he had, everything he loved, was gone.

That is until Dean showed up on his doorstep.

He was in his room, like always, crying– no–sobbing, replaying all of the memories he had of Dean in his mind. He was wailing into his pillow that he had rarely used before when a knock at his door caused him to look up. He was still sniffling as he made his way over to the door, and he didn’t even try to wipe his tears away. He opened the door, only to see Dean in a suit with a vest over it and a blackish grayish trench coat. He was wearing a blackish grayish hat and he looked happy until he saw Cas’ red, puffy eyes and tear-stained face.

“Cas?” He asked, worry etched into his facial expression.

“D-Dean.” Cas inhaled shakily as the news sank in. He thought it was Michael at first, but the way Dean said his name, he immediately knew that it was Dean. He threw his arms around Dean and sobbed into his neck.

Dean rubbed his back comfortingly, allowing Cas to let everything out. “It’s okay, buddy.” He said and he clutched Cas back just as hard as Cas was clutching onto him. “I’m right here.”

As soon as Cas calmed down, he pulled away and exhaled shakily. Dean was back. It was his chance to tell him how he felt before he lost him again. “Dean.”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“I love you.” Cas held his breath as he waited for Dean’s reaction, but Dean just smiled widely and laughed heartily. He crashed his lips onto Cas’ and kissed him as passionately as he could.

When they pulled away he rested his forehead on Cas’ and smiled. “I love you too.”

Cas felt complete. Like he had just found out why he had been created. He knew his purpose and he had done what he had been put there to do. He found meaning in his existence. He had found his faith. He had found love. He was done. His life was complete, as long as he was with the man he loved, forever.


End file.
